Computer---Draft One
Computers are playing an important role in our daily life. They can be applied to all trades and professions. For instance, the engineers use them to do computer programming. Besides, we can also make use of them in our daily life, such as sending email instead of a traditional way writing letters. Computers enable us to have a convenient life.Personally, I have a liking for computers. By using the computer I not only can search for information which I need, but also can play the computer games or chat with my friends in order to relax amid the stress of school work. Although the time which I can use the computer is less and short. Because my mom set the password in order to avoid my brother and me playing the computer deucedly. W e just can use it on the weekend, but even then I still like to play the computer.
posted by [[ 我是_思,,* ]] @ 8:45 下午
7 Comments:
第二段的"Although the time..."
從那之後的句子好像連接的怪怪的,不是很順
你用了好多片語哦～好棒好棒（抄下來）
你寫的好好～我想來抄你的可以嗎？
第二段not only...but also的那一句寫的好長喔!可以多分幾句寫的啦!
恩...你可以參考看看...
However, my mom set the password in order to avoid my brother and me playing the computer deucedly, we just can use it on the weekend. Although the time which I can use it is less and short, I still like to play the computer.
although..because..
改成 because my mom set the.., the time...
* not only but also 用的不錯! 但是可以分段寫。
I not only can search for information which I need, but also can play the computer games...
→I can not only search information which I need but also play the computer games...
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